Stark Ravings

I really like listening to Pu Tong Peng You by David Tao. its so soothing to the ears.

Have been asked how many kids do I wish to have in future. wow, what an ambitious thought. I'm unable to even imagine myself being married. what makes me so sure i'd be able to find the right guy, eventually have sex and give birth?

At the same time, there's the financial burden. Know what? I shan't have too many kids in future so that i can keep my money for myself. hahahaa. but, having said that, I received a tongue lashing from nicholas claiming that I'm disgusting. lol.

Those thoughts of marriage and kids, still seem so far away, unapproachable; almost daunting. I now find relationships intimidating. I don't want to have to please, or to be controlled. Neither do i want to feel the fear or losing him, or the fear of hurting him. I don't want to have to b afraid. There's just too many factors about a relationship that'll defnitely pose a threat to my social life. Firstly, I will lose my freedom. Secondly, I musn't lose contact with any of my best friends just cos' I always have my boyfriend by my side. I'll constantly have to try to please him, and wreck my brains on what to get him for our anniversary. I know these are supposed to come naturally since we're all oh-so blissfully in love. But these tire me, after a while. and eventually I grow bored of the relationship. I have friends who have themselves fallen into the trap-of-love. they are hooked onto their relationships and are unable to let go. They squabble with their partners countlessly and break down each time. Losing their partners is equivalent to losing themselves whole. sheesh. I don't wish for that to happen to me.

But then again, if the right guy does come along some day, I'd still may give him the green light. ;)

I'm guilty of almost entirely losing contact with a very very close girlfriend. till I recently smsed her to ask her out, and her reply sounded gleeful and that she misses me loads. =D thought her other totally more-fun, party-goer girlfriend successfully replaced me already or somethin.

My puppy's pokin his wet nose into my bag. There's so much more to say but I've gotta go do my report and maths tutorials. ciao.