Since secondary school, she has had an extra vessel in her heart sending irregular pulse rates occasionally. She told us the doctor did warn that its fatal. We all told her she'll be fine after the op. But her op's date never surfaced due to her school commitment, the op date clashed with her exams' date.
She was a fabulous friend with an incredible laughter we all love. She's this, crazy, happy girl. Not forgettin her don't-mess-with-me attitude. Her curly wild hair, her hysterical laughter, her naturally looks-like-trimmed eyebrows distinguishes her. She is simply irreplaceable.
She would often confide in me about relationships. And how she wasn't able to get along with several of her classmates. Sometimes I'd find it infuriating when she goes on and on but I can't do much to help her. But now, its too late and I can't do anything anymore.
It was so sudden, so unexpected. She still had many plans for her future. She was aiming for the U and just got herself promoted to her third year in MI. I remember her texting me when she received her results; she was crying. Tears of joy, I told her. and promised to go shopping with her soon. Just 2 days ago she rang me up, and told me she bought a bangle for me. She says she knows what type I prefer: the colour orange and a beachy style. The following day, she bugged me to meet up so she could pass me the bangle and shop. But I didn't want to meet her cos I had to study. I'm never going to see her again now. :'(
She very much looked forward to her birthday, which is on the 15 Dec. but she never did. She was dying to turn 18 and had made plans to go clubbing, she wouldn't stop ranting about it. She was enthusiastic about assisting in arranging a birthday party on my birthday too. She wanted to help me ensure the food's halal for her.
I read this from her blog and felt so bitter :
Okkkkkkk so i got promoted. This calls for a partayyyyyy!!! Hahaha! That means my parents will allow me to have sleep-overs, stay out abbbbbit later than usual and haha! My basshhhhh!!! Hahahahaa!!!! Oh my god!! I can't wait lah! Yes, Kellyn's partay!! Can't waaaaaittt!!
She was such a happy girl... Another of Fadinah's biggest desires was to set up a biz blog. She wanted to start on a joint venture with Charmaine and I. She had a superb talent along with her excellent taste in accessories. She loves butterflies and vintage. She would buy the raw 'materials' and make her own necklaces, with intention to sell them. And those maryjanes she drew, she was a very talented girl.
Fadinah, Charmaine and I would call ourselves KFC because KelFadChar. She was truly one of my best and closest girlfriend whom I love so dear.
There's so much pain my heart its hurts so bad. I thought I've cried the most I ever had last night but this pain is indescribable. My heart and chest is aching. My eyes are sore and jaw hurts from constantly gritting my teeth. I want to scream aloud and weep my guts out. I wish she was still around..
When I watched the japanese serial One Litre of Tears, I was afraid to experience the torment of the lead actress' loved ones when she passed away. Now I feel the pain and it is unbearable. Fadinah is much too young, and it was so sudden! I miss her so much. As others said perhaps God loves her more than we do. And that she's somewhere beautiful now..
If I could have my birthday wish... I'd wish that Fadinah is brought back to life.
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