Stark Ravings

I did super duper badly for the exams i'm really starting to worry about what's gonna happen in future; after i graduate and all. which isn't very far away. what if i don't achieve a gpa of at least 3.5? i won't be able to further my education into a local uni. i could aim for an overseas uni like everyone else is, provided i'm able to save up 80K multiply by 3. cos thats how much the school fees would cost. its SO EXPENSIVE. unless as usual, my parents pay for me. but i don't want to empty their hard earned savings away having to pay for both my brother and i. so of course aiming for the locals Us is better.
i definitely can't work based on my DCP cert alone. it won't fetch me a decent-paying job, or let alone any job. if i did get a job it'll probably be me workin in the lab findin out whats the problem about glycerin being in facial washes. or finding a real substitute for sugar instead of aspartame. which isn't what i want! i really really regret taking the course i'm in. i want to meet people! i want to have to dress up in elegant dresses and chic heels and attend grand dinners with all other top-ranking businessmen at hotels; overseas, if possible. i've always dreamt of knowing exactly what to say to rich, famous people. people who are dropdead intellectual and have braved through storms to make to where they're at. they're critical and would judge you on whatever that comes outta your mouth. i've gotta be able to know the right things to say/bootlick my way to the top. i want to learn interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence and APPLY them when i meet people. i don't even learn them in my current shit course! (no offence to classmates who's enjoyin it). so like i've said i'd study hard and further my dip into something that i really want. business, possibly. so i could do sales, which require meeting of people.

of course with such grades i daren't tell my folks. they'll get so pissed. so i've been avoiding the topic of exams or results when im at home. alas, earlier my dad came up to me and curtly muttered, 'hows the results?'. within that split second i gaped, wondered how come my dad actually remembered i sat for any exam, panicked, flustered and thought of how to put it so my grades don't seem as bad. as i was about to open my mouth to say 'i passed lor', my dad continued: 'Singapore Idol results?'. my reply hasn't been any quicker: 'i didnt watch singapore idol' -_-"

it is a little depressing though to learn that your dad remembers which day screens Singapore Idol elimination round, instead of his own daughter's exam release date.

ohyeah i need a little help for choosing of gems. i have initially decided on taking Designing Cartoons and Animation for Games since designing and drawing has always been my hobby/passion. but then i realised i could take up Psychology and Counselling. one of my ambitions is to be a counsellor. haha. but the bummer part; both are under the choice from Science and Technology. and i'm only allowed to take one. one of my lecturers encouraged us to take up the game design, she has tried it herself and she says its really good. and amazingly, as she was saying it, she looked straight at me as though as she knows design is where my interests' at. and so i subconsciously (and open-mouthed) nodded in agreement to her. now that im contemplating Psychology and Counselling, i consulted yisheng who is already close to graduating from SP, so he definitely knows the ropes. he spat at me exclaiming that Psychology and Counselling would be very tough, there would be group projects/presentations or reports to do. and it wouldn't give me my A. GEMS are supposed to be FREE MARKS, to help us pull our gpa up. but i can't help but feel psychology is gonna help me so much more compared to designing of games. so yeah, im confused.

oh i dreamt 2 nights ago, that i underwent plastic surgery. for 5 bucks. how extraordinary. lol. picture this: i was TALKING to the female doctor as i in the midst of surgery! i asked her whats the cost and she replied, 'only 5 dollars!'. o.O? haha
i've always had my qualms about plastic surgery since some of my friends are against it. fake beauty and so on. but what i felt durin the dream was: for 5 bucks??!! its too good an offer to resist right?? so i was game! who wouldn't be man. after the surgery, my face peculiarly, didn't hurt at all and i had an instaneous recovery. lol. but i didn't get a chance to look to in the mirror before my alarm went off. what a thought-poking dream. kinda wished it didn't end so soon. i want to know how i look after a browlift! bigger eyes? would i look caucasian then so i could easily blend into their nation when i immigrate there? lol

just a piece of advice i wish to give you: (you know who you are) don't read this unless you're the one. shoo. scram.
-please please please don't make rash decisions, im begging you. how many times do you want to fall before you realise u've made a wrong choice? hasn't the first fall been enough? and in case you don't know(which im sure you don't), you are a super duper naive girl. you either trust everything you read/see or you make assumptions thinking you're right. stop making presumptions of the route u're choosing. don't always think its clear, dirt-free and straight. things aren't always as simple. you don't even have any slight bit of experience yet you speak as though you know it and been through it. you've even tried psychoing me into believing what you believe. i remember asking you 'how did you know?' and you replied that you actually didn't. see what i mean? can't you be more careful? before you take the plunge i suggest you find out more about what you're up against. go interview people with experience in that category. wake up and stop being naive! and once again, don't presume that im merely nagging. you never listen! im saying all these cos I CARE. sheesh.

Replies to tags : (sorry for d late replies yea, i've been really lazy)

F.A.D. inah: i love the stuff u make. how issit you can be so artsy-fartsy, good with designs, AND nifty with ur hands? i can't even repair my broken bead bracelet. im envious. anyhow, can't wait to buy our supplies and start our venture! haha
Bryan: haha no, seriously, u won't be able to help but laugh. oops. hey why aren't you added to my msn? or are you?
Diana: my dear, i need my aviator shades. i haven't got them! we'll go out after the imf. uhh, u didn't miss you bro cos.. you don't love/care about him? LOL. i address my bro as 'korkor', go figure.
****bag: wats black in colour & shakes? HARDO GAY! okay i cheated. uhh, wild guess : 50 cent's dick when he's dancing naked? lol pardon me if i sound racist.
huiwen: THAT IS SO LAME. its uncomparable to MY dream, though. =p
nictong: lol, i owe you a teppanyaki. remind me. and you owe me starbucks.
Elaine: thank you so much for ya encouragement babe. love ya